Welcome to the web site of Dr. Julian Boulnois
Doctor, Psychiatrist, Author, Journalist, Broadcaster, Lecturer, Mental Health Advisor and Facilitator.
All that is different might not be better.
The little girl of Beslan said “I prayed Harry Potter would come and save us”; – at one point does fantasy become a reality or delusional or psychotic for that matter.
One should never apologise for expressing a feeling,the secret is in discovering why ?
The genteel art form that is communication has to be more than mere talk, and probably mere words.
In essence communication is a form of intercoursing, in the manner of the medieval definition of the word that is a sharing of that which is mutually enriching;
In essence it is the means whereby two parties are able to define boundaries and share expectations.
The theme is in the sharing, not insisting, not demanding, not even understanding, just sharing.
If such were not the case, communication would become conditional,and feelings dependant on if,if only when…
In other words a trade off, negotiable, rather like a treaty with penalties for miscreancy including pain.
To feel disappointed, even “bitterly” disappointed represents a breakdown in expectations,
For disappointment derives from presumption ?
People, friends, even close friends can too easily fall into the trap of feeling let down by an other,rather than by their expectations of that other.
The joy is that we can share our feelings, and even take possession of our expectations and change them ?
One such expectation is that others are actually mind readers, and surely must know what they must be feeling ?
Presumption is best annulled by removing words like surely and should completely from our vocabulary,and biting our tongues very hard when they are tempted to pop out.
Don’t you think ?!
The most powerful and usually most underused guardian of the boundaries of all our lives in the single word ‘no’.
Insanity literally means a failure to subscribe to commonly held beliefs; so insanity is the opposite of political correctness, or possibly political correctness is really the insanity of our modern times.
Julian Boulnois’ Collection
Thank you for your patience. Julian has finally published a collection of his finest readings. Click here to find out more.